♥ 4:57 AM

'I generally begin working on a story in total ignorance, which I think is the ideal starting point for me, because only if you are truly ignorant can you ask the truly ignorant question. But I have only the foggiest idea of what the story is when I get started on it. And in fact, every story that I write, when I'm doing my reporting, I always come upon some information that completely destroys my concept for the story. I think I know what the story is, and then I interview one more person, or I come across a document, or I see a video, or something, some piece of information that tells me, you know what, I'm wrong, I don't get this. The initial response that I have when that happens is 'Oh god, I'm screwed now. I've just wasted my time. I don't get this all. The story's gone all to hell. But on a few moments of reflection or sometimes waking up the next morning, inevitably, the realization is, 'Wait a minute. No, this story just got better.Because my understanding of it has deepened. I have a much broader and different take on what happened than I had before.-Mark Bowden on discovering narrative and the value of beginner's mind


yes i've been showing that face a lot recently,
maybe cause everyone's losing it.

the surreal feeling's plaguing me a lot these days.
sometimes i'll just wake up wondering if everything around me is real or is it just part of a dream.
with SOT coming to an end,
i guess certain adjustments need to be done.

it's yet another new phase,a new beginning.
where does it lead to?
i have no idea YET.
but i'm gonna trust You on this one.
a crisis You gave me,a turning point i see.
show me the radical decision i have to make.

indeed we dont have to control our thoughts,we just have to stop our thoughts from controlling us.
it's really difficult to focus on the right things,
to move on to the next step when so many things are happening at the same time.
it doesn't really help when everything matters either.
i guess it's time to filter out the important ones and just focus on them.
spreading of overheads never works when it comes to success.
it's better to focus on a few and project excellence from it than to be able to contribute a little in each and everything that matters for that moment and do everything with a half heart.

i hope a month is enough to clear everything up,
to get back on track,to clean up the greys,draw the lines and follow the black and whites.
to make a difference in each and every one of your lives,
to really try out the gift of loyalty,
to find back the enthusiasm that i unknowingly dropped on the way
and to accomplish as much as i can with excellence.
yes, with excellence.

time for some self discipline and self control.

four weeks,here i come.
♥ 1:47 AM

♥ 3:30 AM

♥ 11:21 PM

“So I’m going out there. And I’m going to do the best I can. People are going to get in my way. Things are going to bring me down. But I’m going to keep going. I’m going to reach as far as I can, for every thing I’ve ever wanted. And I’m not giving up. Because that’s what you do when your dreams are more important than your fears. You go out there and ignore the odds. You focus on one thing- that your dreams come true.”
— K. Boulden


defying the odds was something i always found hard to do.
the fact that everything always falls into place didn't really help either.
i guess that's why i always gave up halfway.
afterall,accepting is always easier than fighting it.

maybe the more i try to slack it away,to put it at the back of my head
the more i try to compromise and tell myself "that's fine,the way it is,i just need to adjust my mindset accordingly",
the more you are gonna take away from me.

cause it was never your intention for me to compromise.

as hard as it is,
i'm going to trust you on this one.
♥ 2:28 AM

“I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories but find yourself moving on. It’s perfectly normal.”
— Nicholas Sparks (True Believer)


Stability.peace.assurance.security...
i've come to realise,are certainly absent in my life.
to think i took so long to realise.
i guess the absence promised a life full of ups and downs,a life that's actually alive,something real and interesting.
something that could keep me entertained and not tired of.
but what happens when you start getting tired of the constant change in your life?

i admit,the grass is always greener on the other side.
the moment i get the peace,stability,assurance,security i want,
i might be off looking for the thrill,the excitement i once had again.
but sometimes,
just sometimes,amidst all the chaos,a part of me just cant help but long for a shade to chill in and a trunk to lean on.
something to fall back on during bad times
selfish i know,but things that change often don't last.

risks and assurance never coagulate.
it's an either-or relationship.
one that will make you or break you.

i feel like i'm walking on water,
and every step i take,
i take with caution and courage that i sometimes take too long to muster.
the fear of failing or coming to realise that it was all a wishful thought on my part,
the people i might lose, the future that never lived out of the 4th dimension.

where do i go from here?

its "showhand" in a poker game now.
♥ 12:47 AM

in lieu with the nation's birthday...

♥ 6:06 PM

♥ 3:35 PM

♥ 1:07 AM