“I really want some meaning. It used to be easy to toss it off. Now it’s harder and harder. You have to navigate just to find something that has nourishment. It’s the absence of nourishment. What do you do in place of nourishment? It’s usually junk. Either it’s junk food or junk clothes or junk ideas.”
— Toni Morriso

I am down with 'future-paranoia',
i guess i probably reached the point in my life where i start to wonder what would life be like after i graduate.
it's like a 'now what?' moment.
cause at the end of the day, studying is always easier to plan than what you are gonna do as a career.
Like all other important steps in life, our career path will most likely steer the direction of the rest of our lives whether or not we like it.

so now what?

i really dont like walking in darkness,
not knowing where i'm heading.
But that's the only place where faith leads.
so i'm holding tight,
with all my might,
trusting You to lead me to the light.

all i need now is just a nano-litre of hope, God.
♥ 1:51 AM

“She remembered what hope was, and this was it. That inner churning that moves you forward, plows you through life the way the boats below plowed the shiny water, the way the plane was plowing forward to a place new, and where she was needed.”
—
Elizabeth Strout 

with every new season, expect good surprises...and bad surprises too.
never thought that this new semester would be a harder one to go through.
I did understand what this sem would be like and prepared my heart with all i can to manage it.
one thing i know for sure, it would be a purpose driven one with zero distractions.

little did i expect, i wasn't ready at all.
i met up face to face with the biggest distraction in my life, myself.
the lonely thoughts, the happy holiday thoughts welled up my heart before i could hastily close it.
and i knew 'purpose driven sem' aside,
it was yet another yielding period to You.
and yes, i made an effort to arm myself with books to remind me of Your goodness, Your mercy, Your grace when i didnt understand.

and i thought the hardest phase of studying overseas was over.
nope, the hardest phase is now.

and i'm glad im going through it, cause i can't wait to meet me in december.
♥ 12:38 AM